Idea

I was MIA over Thanksgiving break and did not have access to the internet, but here were my thoughts during that time.

A simple pizza run with my father on Wednesday night turned into a fairly serious conversation about, of all topics, my life. I really can't say enough how much I respect my parents. Ever since I decided to go to art school and peruse a photography career they have been right there supporting me. I've been through friends experiencing falling outs with their parents over there choices, and even seem some quit. I consider myself very lucky to have parents that are as understanding and supportive as mine are. While my parents will see me through anything, I know that at the same time they look out for my future and want to see me succeed, and this was the basis for my conversation between my father and I.

My Dad has a way of just coming out and saying things, but not being offensive in the process. So that's basically what he did; he came right out and asked me what my plans for after college and more specifically how I would handle things like health insurance. He knows what my rough outline for my after college life is, but we never really talked about it face to face. I told him that I plan to go to New York and make it as a photo assistant for a while, then eventually become my own photographer. While I know that I could do this, things like health insurance were something that I never really though about. Knowing that I will not receive such benefits from a photographer, is it possible for me to achieve such things and be a mostly full time assistant?

Then there's Grad school. It's something that I have not given much thought to yet, but my Dad really pushed it on me. It definitely makes sense for the long term but right now I really have no desire. And if I did go, would I want to go for photography? How about something else like business? If I do go, I would definitely want to take some time away form school at least for a little while and assist. One of my favorite photographers that I met in NY gave me some advice that I see as being very valuable. He said assisting is extremely important, but you have to know when to cut it off. Assisting can get you a steady income, but once you get to the point where you are not learning anymore, its time to move on. He said the jump from making a sustainable income to trying to start your own business is a harsh one, but crucial in the end. I personally met someone who had been assisting for eight years, which is somewhere that I really don't want to end up.

So what do I make of all this? I feel, though it sounds disgustingly cheesy, that I need to find myself. I need to put a little distance between school Patrick and real world Patrick. I may go to NY and find that I hate photography, or I might find it to be exactly what I want. Either way I'm going to do it, and attempt to make the best that I possibly can out of it.