Idea

There's no way around it, purpose is what i lack. While I definitely have my own reasons for why I shoot what I shoot, they are not always apparent from the way I speak about the work. I feel like I constantly struggle between producing work that I know is attractive and work that has serious meaning behind it. But the more I think about it I feel I have come to realize that you don't really need to be able to explain your work in detail all the time, as long as you can grab the interest of the listener. I feel like I focus way too much on having a 'solid concept' and being able to say 'my work is about this,' when that is clearly not the way that I function.

I'm a good shooter. I'm good at having an idea or a plan or a location and going out and making a picture happen. It's rare when I have an envisioned plan that fails. This can be said for almost all of my undergraduate work that I have done so far. From AFO to senior port I have developed my style of working and carrying out a project and I think that I do not take enough time to stop and recognize these patterns that have formed.

1. Start with an idea or random thought
2. Completely visualize in my head the finished product
3. Possible sketch or small scale test shoot
4. Shoot
5. Post production
6. Store on hard drive and or print

It's funny to think about it but basically every project I have done in my early art career has basically followed these guide lines. So what does this say about me and my work? Well I definitely feel like I have hit a wall, both in my work and in my life. I'm at a serious transitional period and virtually ever aspect of my life is suffering because of it, and most importantly my work. Possibly its time to start a new process, try to rework my way of thinking so that I am more motivated. And I really really need a serious change of scenery.

I keep going back to the Alec Soth lecture a couple of weeks ago. I'm sure that in other settings, at some point he has spoken well and intelligently and optimistically. Obviously to get to that point of fame and success you have to be at least in some way inspirational and interesting but no one in that theater that day saw that, I can guarantee that. I think it definitely taught me something in the way of appearances really are everything. I'm sure that Soth didn't speak like that to the people giving him grants and awards, but for whatever reason in his head he felt like he had no need to impress or inspire an auditorium full of young impressionable youth that day.

Whats my point here? Well at the risk of sounding jaded it's all about talking the talk. You can produce horrible work but if you are able to sell it then it does matter. This is no new concept but I think its one that I have over looked for a while. I'm not saying that my work is going to start sucking, but I simply need to be able to speak better about my work and my self. Not only will it increase interest in my work, but also hopefully my confidence. Oh and pray to God that I don't end up like Alec Soth.